


Your Darkside Will Make You Whole

by selfconsciousbee



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Dark Side Rey, Dreamsharing, F/M, Grey Jedi, Jedi Rey, Kylo Ren Redemption, Mind Control, My First Fanfic, My First Work in This Fandom, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey-Centric, Reylo - Freeform, Slow Burn, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-09-27 19:08:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10040483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/selfconsciousbee/pseuds/selfconsciousbee
Summary: Rey and Kylo Ren begin dream sharing and exploring their force bond. Rey trains as a Jedi. A princess needs to be rescued. Explores Kylo Ren's redemption and Rey's fall.





	1. Life on Ahch-To

I’m running up the steps to the temple for what must be the thousandth time. I don’t mind it. I’m used to being on the move but in a desert where I have to conserve energy because of the heat. The scarcity of food and water also didn’t encourage sustained running. Here it's like I could run forever. Ahch-To is so different than Jakku in ways that I couldn't have imagined. The water saturates everything, like the heat and sand on Jakku, but the water is cool and healing. I hear the water everywhere. The sound of it crashing against the cliffs sings me to sleep at night. The water is in the air when I breathe it in. I didn’t even realize that my eyes hurt from being so dry until the discomfort went away. And I will never forget the first time I completely submerged into the ocean. It was so quiet under the water with only the dull roar of the waves. Being suspended in the water was such a weird feeling that I had to keep myself from laughing. I was giddy. I don’t think that I have ever been this clean.

Even the sand is different here. On Jakku, the sand is the enemy not trusted and is invasive. Here it is beautiful, white, and inviting. I wouldn't have considered stripping down and laying in the sand on Jakku unless I had a death wish. Here I actually bathe in the sun instead of trying to escape it. The sun is gentle instead of scorching. I love the feeling of my feet sinking into the cool clean sand when I step into the water. I never imagined it would be like this. Never imagined that I would even find the island that had been my refuge at night when I needed to feel safe. I use to feel sad when I thought of all that time that I wasted on Jakku. I had the opportunity to leave and didn’t. I put so much unquestioning faith in the belief that my family would return. But if I had left sooner, Kylo Ren might have killed me along with the rest of the Padawans. Master Luke said that the Force guided me to him when the time was right.

I did learn much on Jakku. I learned how to survive on very little and how to make the best use of anything I had. I’m strong. I learned to fight. When I would get bored, I would sneak into Unkar Plutt’s junkyard where I would explore the ships. I scavenged enough parts in my travels that I created a flight simulator and became a pilot. Jakku was my home. But as Maz said, “Whomever you are waiting for on Jakku, they’re never coming back. The belonging you seek is not behind you but ahead.”

And now I’m in this beautiful place where I have been taking my first steps into a larger world. When I arrived here six months ago to find Master Luke, I had been afraid that he wouldn’t consent to teach me. He had come to Ahch-To in a self-imposed exile after his nephew became Kylo Ren. The Jedi Killer. I had seen, during the Force vision, Master Luke and R2D2 in the light of the burning temple and felt his despair. What if he wouldn’t want to risk taking on another student? But Kylo Ren had been right about one thing. I did need a teacher. If Master Luke wouldn’t train me, I would have to start running. Kylo Ren would never stop hunting me. At least not until I had gone to the Darkside or was dead. I didn’t want to waste my life like that. If I became a Jedi, then I could defend myself. I could also help the rebellion and it would mean Master Luke would no longer be the last of the Jedi. I didn’t want the Jedi to die out. And I didn’t want to leave my new found friends.

My other concern was that Master Luke would turn me away because of my fight with Kylo Ren on the Starkiller Base. During that fight, my power came from anger which is something that the Jedi frown upon. But Kylo Ren had murdered Han and had either killed or injured Finn. I could hear a voice in my head demanding that I kill him. At the end of the fight, Kylo Ren was on the ground. His face was bleeding where I had struck him. There was a moment where I almost gave in. It would have been so easy. This monster would no longer be chasing me and my friends. Who else would die because he lived? If he lived. But I turned away and I hoped that would put Master Luke at ease. I would never be like Kylo Ren so conflicted and angry. If I had been lucky and Han Solo had been my father, I would never have murdered him. I would never betray those who loved me. I know all too well how that feels. Master Luke told me of his final battle with Darth Vader and the Emperor. He too had felt the pull and turned away.

I wipe off the sweat that had collected on my forehead as I clear the last of the temple steps. I see Master Luke wearing his brown hooded cloak and belted beige and white robes. He looks like he is meditating but his eyes are open now. He had told me about training with Yoda on Dagobah and that he would carry Yoda on his back during training. I smile at the thought of having to carry Master Luke the same way and am grateful that I don’t. I sit down with him and he hands me a flask of water. We sit together in a comfortable silence for a couple of minutes before he says, “Clear your mind.”

I close my eyes. My pounding heart slows and I begin to match my breathing with the sound of the waves below. Master Luke continues, “Feel the Force move through you. Around you. A Jedi’s strength comes from the Force. It is an ally. Life creates it and makes it grow. You must feel the force around you. Between you and me, the rocks, the grass, the ocean, everywhere. ”

I allow his voice to calm me further and begin to feel the energy encompassing me. I sense it strong in my Master beside me. As I begin to feel it flowing through the grass and rocks, I begin stacking the pile of rocks beside us. I almost have all the rocks stacked on top each other when something pulls at me. It is a familiar feeling and is strong. I begin to concentrate on it and pull back along the connection. I follow it off Ahch-To and it leads to a dark room. I hear the familiar sizzle of a lightsaber and as I turn around I face the black figure of Kylo Ren. The red light from his lightsaber reflects off of the chrome on his black mask. He is as intimidating as he had been on Takodana. The rage is pouring off of him. Then I hear the rocks fall and I’m back on Ahch-To. Master Luke is looking at me.

“Kylo Ren is alive.” I stammered. “Is he alive, Master?”

“Trust yourself, Rey. You know this is true. The best thing you can do right now is complete your training so you are ready when you face him again.”

“I will face him again. Do you know when?”

“Don’t let it distract you from the here and now. Concentrate on what you must do.”

I try to settle my thoughts but they are about Kylo Ren. And I can’t help but think of Leia. Does she know he’s alive? I am worried about her. After finding Luke, we had all taken one night to mourn the loss of Han Solo. It was all she could afford. With the rise of the First Order and the destruction of Hossian Prime, the General had too much to do. With all she had faced and had been through, she was still leading others. One day I had asked her about how she continues on. Leia said that she had been serving the people since she joined the senate when she was not much younger than I was. She explained that it was her duty to serve. If she only did it when it was convenient for her then she wouldn’t be doing it for the people but for herself. Before that moment, I didn’t think that it was possible for me to respect her more than I already did. I was wrong. Han Solo was like the father I never had and Leia was the mother I couldn’t have even dreamed existed to wish for.

Master Luke says, “Rey, you are still having the dreams about what happened on the Starkiller base.”

I do not reply. It wasn’t a question and he knows that I have. I dream about Kylo Ren's interrogation, Han Solo falling, and the planet collapsing. Last night, I dreamt that we were all back on the Starkiller base. Kylo Ren is with Han Solo on the walkway in the oscillator room. I don’t want to watch but I can’t turn away. Everything goes dark and the jagged red beam of Kylo Ren’s lightsaber bursts through Han Solo’s back. His body falls. I start to cry. Kylo Ren begins to transform into a disfigured and elongated version of himself. His face distorts and his body begins to stretch and become jagged like his lightsaber. He gets taller, darker, and even more menacing. I turn to run but he is already behind me. His face is a mess of corruption and his eyes are blazing yellow with hate. I scream and wake up.

“Meditate on your dreams.” Master Luke instructs, bringing me out of my thoughts. “If they are repeating then there is a lesson in them that you need to learn”.

“Yes, Master.”

“General Organa and your friends will be arriving tomorrow. It is time for you to gather the materials for your weapon.”

I give him a big grin. I am excited about starting this process. I have been training in sword fighting but I am already more than proficient with the staff. Master Luke has agreed for me create a saberstaff.

“I’ll make dinner.” He continues, “You can go get cleaned up.”

Master Luke smiles as I give him another big grin. I jump up and run back to my room at the temple. I can see myself going through the motions of creating my weapon. Meditating with the crystal. Creating the handle. Training with my new saberstaff. If I was able to defeat Kylo Ren with a sword, what would I be like with a weapon that I am familiar with?  
   
That night, I’m in the interrogation room again. Kylo Ren is in a crouched position in front of me. Looking like a monster who knows his prey is going nowhere and he can toy with it.

“You still want to kill me.” Kylo Ren’s deep voice sounds confused but also mocks.

“That’s what happens when you are being hunted by a creature in a mask.” I bite back.

Kylo Ren begins to take off his helmet. I didn’t think that he would give up an advantage like that. What will be underneath? I’m transfixed with curiosity but worried that he will be even more terrifying without the mask. His helmet comes off as he reaches his full impressive height. The first thing that I see are his eyes. They are so dark that they are almost black but don’t show the hatred that I had expected to see. Next, I see his full lips and straight prominent nose. Then his black hair contrasting with his pale skin. He had been a terrifying and unbeatable entity on Takodana. A creature straight from my nightmare. I almost wanted to face that monster again. Things are clearer with the monster and confusing with the young man standing before me. This was not what I was expecting and does throw me off a little.

He stands beside me and begins his questioning. I try to hide my discomfort at our proximity and force myself not to stare at him. I catch him rake his eyes down my body and am uncomfortable with his perusal. I’m trying to keep my breathing normal and feel the blush spreading across my face. What does he see?

“You…a scavenger.” He says.

His disdain obvious. I am embarrassed by his assessment. It’s not that I want him to see me as anything other than what I am. I am a scavenger. But he says it like I’m something scrapped from his boot, it stings. “You know I can take whatever I want.”

He places his hand next to my face. He is so close that I have to look away. I concentrate on anything else but the map and his breath on my neck. He delves into my life on Jakku and invades what he has no right to know. He talks about how lonely I am like he understands. I am angry that he would prod that wound. Why would he want to know that? It feels like a violation. I don’t know if its suppose to be but I demand that he get out of my head and he does. It’s like he remembered what he was there for and continues to tell me how he is going to get the map. He starts to go through my mind again. But this time, there is an undercurrent of connection between us and I push back along it.

“Don’t be afraid, I feel it too.” He says.

Strengthened by the knowledge that I can fight him and say, “I’m not giving you anything.”

“We’ll see.”

He renews his attack. His outstretched hand seems to focus his intent. I lean forward, fighting back and countering him. The shackles press against my forearms but I ignore it to put everything I have into fighting. Each of us trying to gain a foothold in each other's minds. He steps forward, grabs the back of my neck, and tips my head up. My breath hitches as we stare at each other. Still fighting until his lips meet mine. I close my eyes and answer back. I slip one hand over his shoulder and the other up through his hair. He moves a hand to my lower back to pull me closer and I help by wrapping my strong thighs around him.

I hear a deep voice from across the room ask, “Is that what you wanted?”

I’m confused and more than a little dazed by what is happening. As I turn my head, he creates a trail of kisses and bites down to my neck. I open my eyes. I see a very confused looking Kylo Ren watching us. Something isn’t right. The Kylo Ren that was touching me disappears and the one standing across the room remains. I don’t understand and he is a little too real. I can see the cut across his face where I had hit him but it has healed into a scar. I am surprised enough that I wake up.


	2. The Gathering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Old friends are reunited. Rey begins "The Gathering" with Finn, Po, and Chewbacca. Something crawls in the dark.

The next morning, I am meditating with Master Luke. We are at our favorite spot overlooking the ocean. I am trying to stop thinking about the dream but it keeps rising to the surface and disturbing me. This isn’t something that I want Master Luke to know about. I blush with shame and pray that I never have to have that discussion. I am embarrassed. Kylo Ren is horrible. He killed Han Solo and his fellow Jedi. He follows the Darkside. What twisted part of my subconscious would even come up with something like that dream? Master Luke provides a distraction by asking, “Are you ready for the Gathering?”

“Yes, master.” 

“Ilum use to be a revered pilgrimage site for Jedi. The Padawans use to go there to collect their first crystals. After the Empire rose to power, they began to strip mine that planet for the Kyber crystals. They were so thorough that they broke the planet’s outer crust and the planet's magma core spilled out. They had completely changed it from an ice planet to a lava planet. It cooled again but all the crystals were either mined or lost. In the records that I found here, there used to be a nearby planet, Keigawa, that served the same purpose as Ilum. I went exploring and even found the old temple. Beneath the temple is a maze of tunnels. Inside you will find Kyber crystals. Find the one that calls to you. Be mindful while you are there. The caves create a nexus in the Force. It may be disorientating and may cause hallucinations. Do not let this divert you. The Force will guide you to the crystal that is for you.”

There is a long pause as we watch the Millennium Falcon start to make its descent onto the island. He smiles at me and says, “You can do this, Rey. Trust yourself and trust your friends.”

We get up to meet the new arrivals. Finn steps off of the lowering ramp of the Millennium Falcon. He is wearing all black along with his familiar jacket. The former Stormtrooper grins when he sees me and jumps when BB-8 zooms past him to get to me first. I laugh as BB-8 stops with that funny little wobble he does. He chirps in Binary how much he missed me and I smile and pat his head. I run to Finn and we are both giddy and greet each other with as much enthusiasm as two yearling Banthas. BB-8 circles us and chirps as Finn and I talk over each other.

“How is your training going?” 

“No, how is your training?” 

“Tell me what’s happening with the Resistance?” 

“Have you learned to mind control yet?” 

“I’ve got that. Working on Force speed. Have you become a pilot yet?” 

“No! I’ll focus on being a gunner and leave the flying to Po.”

“And we are all grateful for that.” Po Dameron smirks as he dodges BB-8 to join us. He gives me a quick hug. 

“Any luck winning over Chewie yet?” I ask. 

The rebellion pilot gives a wry grin and replies, “His heart belongs to another.”

Chewie catches up to us and sweeps me off my feet. I laugh as he spins me around. “Miss me as a co-pilot?” I joke. 

Chewie growls some complaints. Finn has the flying instincts of a rock and Po only wants to play in little X-wings. He lifts me up so I’m eye level with him. “Don’t be a Jedi.” he howls, “You are a smuggler. Run away with me.”

I dissolve into a giggling mess and give him another hug when he puts me down.

“Get off of her, you old Wookie or at least bring her over here so that I can take a look at her.” Leia chides behind us followed by Master Luke’s chuckle.

Chewie adjusts his grip and sweeps me up onto his back. I shriek and grip his shoulders and start to giggle as he bounces me over to Leia. She is wearing her long graying hair in a beautiful loose braid. Chewie puts me down in front of Leia. She puts her hands on my face and looks at me like she is searching for something. I don’t know what she is looking for but she smiles and pulls me into a hug. The calming energy that she exudes surrounds me as I wrap my arms around her. When I pull away, I catch a flash of sadness and know that she is thinking of her son. “It’s so good to see you, Rey.”

“Thank you, I’m so glad you are here.” 

“Keigawa is an ice planet. I have packed you extra clothes and a coat. There is also a backpack of everything you will need.” 

“Thank you, so much.”

I don’t know what to say after that. This day is overwhelming and I never want this to stop. It’s like a dream. I didn’t think that I would find belonging this quick and I never want to give it up. I look at Leia and try not to make a fool out of myself. Out of everyone, including Master Luke, I want her approval above all else.

She pats my cheek and says, “Please be safe and hurry back. We’ll all have dinner together tomorrow or the next day.”

   
A few hours later, Finn, Po, and I are in the common area on the Millennium Falcon. Finn and Po are playing a funny strategy game that I haven’t played before. Holograms of varying creatures bludgeon each other till only one player's creatures remain. Its tech is pretty behind the times. As a scavenger, I don’t think even I would try to salvage it. But they are having fun.

“There is something that I don’t understand,” Finn says. 

“Like how to play this game.” Po teases as a big armed monster of Po’s crushes Finn’s tentacle one. Finn’s face tightens into a frown. I smile as I continue to work with the housing for the crystal in my saberstaff. 

“No, well yes that too,” Finn continues, “but something else. The First Order was rising when the General was a senator. But the Republic Senate did nothing to increase its military. Now the only army is the one that General Organa created outside the Republic’s consent. I would have thought that, given who she is, they would have helped. Why didn’t they?” 

I put down the casing and look to Po. “Master Luke never discussed it either but it didn’t come up.” 

“Where have you two been living?” Po says in surprise looking back and forth between the two of us. 

“Um…Stormtrooper program.” 

“Jakku.” 

“Right.”

Po’s brow furls as he tries to figure out where to start. He sits back as he begins, “Ok, well. General Organa was a senator along with Mon Mothma. Mon Mothma was able to guide the Senate of the New Republic and it did some good work for awhile. After she died, no one was able to take her place. There was in-fighting between two opposing parties, the Populist and the Centrists. This made it impossible to get anything done. The Senate was useless. Senator Organa and Senator Ransolm Casterfo had started investigating a criminal cartel. It turned out that it was funding the First Order. But they had to wait until the Senate could function to do anything. A motion passed for the creation of a First Senator that would have real power over the Senate. Senator Organa was the lead candidate for the Centrists. But a rival revealed that Senator Organa was the daughter of Darth Vader. Something that she had kept a secret. It ruined her political career and she lost all clout. It was a big scandal and everyone in the Galaxy knew about it. Except you two. It was about six or seven years ago. Without Senate support, she had no choice but create the Resistance."

“They sure farkled themselves with that decision,” I say and sigh thinking about all those people destroyed by the First Order. 

“Rey! Such language. What did they teach you under that rock you were living under.” Po jokes and covers Finn’s ears. “Not in front of the youngling Reb.” 

Finn knocks his hands away and exclaims, “Get off of me. They had that word under my rock too.”

The Millennium Falcon slips out of hyperspace and we all feel the familiar jolt. Chewie, in the cockpit, calls out.

“What did he say?” Finn asks me. 

“Umm, we are here so stop gossiping and get ready.”  
   
I find the bag that Leia had left for me and a part of me imagines that this is what it feels like when a mom looks after you. I let that thought go. I tell myself that I have no more tears to cry over that and focus on what is in the bag. She thought of everything. Extra thermals, medical and survival kit, tracking device, a cutting tool and, at the very bottom, a gun. I don’t think I’ll need it because I still have Luke’s lightsaber. But seeing the gun makes me happy. It seems like such a Leia thing to include. She cares and is trying to include everything that will make sure I will be coming back.

After I finish dressing, I join everyone else in the cockpit. Keigawa is in the view screen and it looks like a storm will be blowing in within the galactic standard hour. Chewie lands the Falcon at the ruins of the Jedi temple that is on the side of a snow-covered mountain. I can feel something pull at me and write it off as a side effect of the nearby nexus in the Force. A nervous excitement runs through me as we all step off of the Falcon. I zip up my coat and shrug my bag onto my back. Everyone but Chewie stops for a second to brace against a sudden gust of freezing wind. I watch Chewie’s hair swirl around and envy him his coat. It seems to suit whatever environment he is in. Chewie gives a growl that echoes around us and we continue on to the temple.

At one point in the temple’s history, there must have been an explosion because the outer face is in ruins. It must have been a while ago. The once jagged edges of the fallen stones are smooth because of the wind. As we get closer we see a path is clear. “Are we sure this thing is stable?” Finn asks.

“I’m sure it's so frozen that only a bombing from space will move this ice cube. I vote that we test that theory. Anyone second that motion?” Po mocks as he pulls his hood up against the wind swirling off of the large temple stones. 

“Well, now we know not the let Master Luke plan our vacation again. Po gets to decide the next trip.” I say and look up into the sky at the snow sparkling as it whips by. At least it is beautiful. 

“I don’t know. It seems kind of perfect for a vacation or epic Jedi quest.” Finn says, ”Nice view. Quiet. No one trying to kill us. What could go wrong?” 

“Finn!” Po says in mock horror and shakes his head, “Why would you jinx us like that? You have so much to learn about the fickleness of life. It’s waiting for an invitation to turn you into Bantha poodoo.”  
   
We find the temple steps. The steps are on the side of the mountain having been carved from it. They are impossible to see from the air. If anyone found this planet, unless they knew what to look for, would miss them. Though, from the pull I am feeling, anyone force sensitive would have a pretty good idea where to look. The inside of the temple is as frozen as it is on the outside. We walk as far in as we can go until we see the cave entrance. It is darker than I had expected. Not even the light from our flashlights penetrates very far. The cave walls are lava rock and it ends up absorbing the light. It’s hard not to imagine it as a malignant entity ready to not only swallow our light but us as well. I wasn’t too worried about this mission. I’ve climbed into some precarious and confined places while scavenging. I didn’t imagine this nothingness. Chewie gives and encouraging growl. We step forward with some reluctance.

“Use the Force, Rey.” Finn encourages and gives a smile. 

“I don’t think that is how it works”, Po replies. 

“No, actually that is exactly what I'm supposed to do.”

I smile warmly at Finn and am grateful for his supportive presence. I take a moment to center myself against the swirl of the nexus. I wait for the small pull of the crystal that I am meant to have. When I find that thread, I continue on into the cave. I don’t know how long we walk for but my friends stay with me. They have been quiet. Not wanting to break my concentration. I hear their footsteps and the occasional beep from a scanner tracking our position.  
The nexus is like nothing I have experienced. I’ve never been this close to such a surge of Light and Dark energy. It is strange to feel them mixing. The light speeds along in swirls but then eddies around patches of Dark energy. I try not to focus on it because it does make me dizzy. Finally, I see a blue glow up ahead. There it is. I run to the crystal and drop my bag. Dumping its contents on the ground. I grab the cutting tool and look for the best way to extract the crystal. It comes free and I hold it out for everyone to see.

“It looks like the hundreds of other crystals that we pass by for the last two hours,” Po complains. 

“Shh, it looks like the best one, Rey,” Finn says giving Po a dirty look. 

“What do you mean?” I ask, “This is the first one that I saw.”

But as I scan my flashlight around I see crystals everywhere. At least I know the crystal I hold is the one meant for me. I didn't even see the others. As I’m looking around, I see a rock uncurl itself and flash its teeth at me. “What is that thing?” I shriek.

I pocket the crystal and reach for my lightsaber but it isn't at my hip. I try not to panic as the creature unfolds its long spiny legs and begins to hiss. An answering hiss from other creatures surrounding us increases my panic.

“I don’t see anything,” Chewie responds as I dive for the blaster from my pack. 

“It’s right there in my light,” I shout and point my gun at it. I begin to fire. I see more skittering across the ceiling and walls towards us. 

“Rey, stop!” Finn yells at me.

I can no longer see the creatures and stop firing but it is too late. Rocks start falling signaling the beginning of a cave-in. I Force push Po, Finn, and Chewie back the way that we came. I try to get out of the way of the rocks but I am struck from behind and everything disappears.


	3. Shared Dreaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo Ren experience more shared dreaming.

I find myself looking out of a window on the bridge of a Star Destroyer. A masked Kylo Ren is there. He is watching a red beam being shot across the empty space from the Starkiller base. I can feel the conflict in him before he speaks. 

“My mother and I spent a lot of time on Hosian Prime while she was a senator. It was a beautiful city...” He says. I see flashes of a large statue of Bail Organa and Leia talking to a small dark haired boy about her father. Then I see the boy running in a beautiful hanging garden chased by Chewbacca. I start to see Han Solo but the image dissolves with a flash of pain. “But she kept my real grandfather hidden from me and then sent me away.”

“How am I here?” I ask. 

“This is my dream.” Kylo Ren replies. “You are here because of the same reason that I ended up in your dream the other night." 

"Oh? Were you cave spelunking and hit your head. Is that the reason for your helmet. You will have to tell me who your armorer is." I quip trying to hide my embarrassment at the remembrance of that dream and having him witness it. 

"Become my student and I will tell you." 

"Sorry, someone has already taken that position." 

"And how is Skywalker?" 

"Safe and hidden away where you will never find him." 

"He doesn't have what you and I have, scavenger." 

"If you are speaking of the hatred, disgust, and the overwhelming need to kill each other. Then, no we don't share that." 

"Our bond. You and I are inexplicably linked. Skywalker will never understand you. He will hold you back from your true potential. Join me."

 

   
I wake up in the light of my flashlight. I’m on the ground in the cave on Kaigwa. And my head hurts. I kick off some of the rocks. I don’t think I broke anything but there will be bruising and a concussion. “Hello?” I yell and a familiar but unexpected voice answers.

“Yell all you want, scavenger, but you don’t know what will trigger another cave in.” replies Kylo Ren.

I scramble away from him but don’t go far till I run into the cave wall. Kylo Ren crouches in front of me. He is maskless but I can't read him as well as when we were dreaming. His scared face looms in front of me but I am relieved to see that he didn't loose his eye. The scar cuts a diagonal path from the right side of his face and slices down towards his shoulder. 

He looks to me and says, “I see you still have my grandfather's lightsaber. That belongs to me.”

My hand goes to my hip and I'm surprised to find the lightsaber there when it had been absent during the attack.

“No, it doesn't belong to you.” I reply, “This is Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber. It's Luke Skywalker's lightsaber. It is a Light users lightsaber. It is no longer your birthright, Kylo Ren. It was Ben Solo's...” 

“Don't use that name.” He interrupts coldly. “You are performing the Gathering. Where are you? You are in trouble. I wouldn't have been so careless with you. I would never have sent you here alone.” 

“Do you really expect me to tell you where I am, Jedi Killer,” I answer back. “And I'm not alone.”

I remember the creatures and start looking for them. Why haven't they attacked? I start to hear the hissing again along with skittering of sharp claws. I grab my lightsaber and light it. Kylo Ren turns to see what I'm looking at. The light bounces off of teeth and beady eyes. I prepare to fight. When I get to my feet, dizziness overtakes me and I fall back to the ground. Kylo Ren grabs me and forces me to look at him.

“You aren't here. How are you doing this?” I demand. 

“I'm not here. But neither are they.” He responds, “It's the nexus. Ignore them and they will go away.” 

“Will that work for you too?” I sneer.

Kylo Ren gives a short laugh that surprises me. I sit back against the wall and close my eyes. He sits beside me. I reach up and touch the large bump on the back of my head. I'm nauseous and I'm sure that it isn't only the work of the nexus. I look at him and where I have marked him.

“Admiring your handy work?” Kylo Ren asks. 

“Why would you keep that?” 

“A reminder of how powerful you are, scavenger, when you give into the Darkside. I felt your fury. You have more darkness in you than you are willing to admit.” 

“I will never go to the Darkside.” 

“We'll see.”

I hear the pile of rocks across from me shift and am relieved when I hear Finn call out to me, “Rey! Are you there?”

“I'm here, Finn. Is everyone ok?” 

“We are all ok. A little banged up but alive. Are you ok?” 

“I have a concussion but nothing broken.” 

“We will get you out Rey, stay put.”

Relief washes over me when I hear Chewie growl and Po shout, “Watch where you are throwing that!”

“Your...friends...are here. I'm leaving.” Kylo Ren says. 

I sit with Kylo Ren for a second before saying, “That dream meant nothing. It wasn't what I wanted. Sometimes a dream is just a dream.” 

Kylo Ren disappears but not before saying, “I know. It doesn't stop me from thinking about it.”

 

   
The return trip went faster for me. Chewie insisted on carrying me out which I was grateful for. We stopped at the rebel base for a dip in a Bacta tank. Then the sedatives that they had given me put me to sleep for the rest of the way home. I dream that I am once again on the Starkiller base. I'm on the platform looking over the walkway in the oscillator room. I hear Han Solo yell, “Ben!” I don’t want to be here. The real Kylo Ren steps forward to the rail.

“Whose dream is this?” I ask. 

“It's a mix of both of ours.” He says.

Sadness pours in waves off of him and I know that he doesn't want to be here any more than I do. The dream Kylo Ren removes his mask for his father.

“That is the first time he saw my face since I was a boy.” Kylo Ren says. I am shocked by the revelation. He feels my shock and says, “I told you he would have been a disappointment.”

This time I can feel the struggle in the Kylo Ren on the walkway below. He had known that Han Solo was there and had tried to get away. Once again, the extinguished sun disappears and Kylo Ren kills his father.

“I thought it would end my pain. I thought it would prove that I could overcome the weakness that destroyed Darth Vader. Snoke said that it would rid me of my conflict. But I felt weakened. I couldn’t even stop Chewie from shooting me.” He intones. His words lack emotion but a deep sorrow fills him. 

“Why are you sharing this with me?” I ask.

This is confusing me more. He is a monster not this conflicted and despairing man beside me. I want to accuse him of lying but I know he can't do that here. In this place, he is open to me and I know what he feels. He is not lying or trying to manipulate me. He is grieving.

“You are the only one that I can share this with.” He says.

The dream Kylo Ren starts to transform into a monster. His features distort and his entire body begins to shake in rage. I am terrified and turn to run even though I know that he will be there to stop me. I start to scream but the real Kylo steps between the nightmare and me.

“Is this how you see me?” He asks softly. 

“It was.”

 

The dream transitions away from the Starkiller Base and into the last place I want to be. Kylo and I stand side by side and we watch me as a child being drug away by Unkar Plutt. She is screaming “Come back!” to the transport ship that is flying away.

I can hear someone saying, “We’ll come back, sweetheart.” 

I close my eyes. “No one is coming back. I was a child and they left me with that monster. That is not on me. That’s on them. I don’t have to carry that.” 

Kylo brings his hand to my face and I look at him. “It doesn’t make it hurt any less.” He says.

I can feel my eyes fill with tears as Kylo walks over to the child that is me. He picks her up shushing and comforting her. Something in me breaks open.


	4. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haircuts, torture, and an unwelcomed guest.

I wake up in my own bed on Ahch-To. I am starving. I go to the kitchen to make myself some breakfast. I enter the kitchen and hear Master Luke say, “...more she knows the easier it will be to bring him…”.

He stops talking to Leia when he sees me. Leia smiles and puts down the knife that she is using to chop some kind of vegetable that I do not recognize.

“Welcome back, Rey. How do you feel?” asks Master Luke.

“Better than I can remember,” I reply.

“Yes, the Bacta is an amazing thing.” chuckles Master Luke.

“Rey,” Leia says, “Why don’t we let Luke finish making breakfast and I’ll give your hair a cut.”

I touch one of the buns on my head. I’ve always done my hair like this. I know that I had been trying to change as little as I could so that my family would recognize me when they came back. Then I picture Kylo Ren comforting the child that was me. What am I still waiting for?

“I would like that,” I reply and look forward to letting go of another part of my old life.

Leia leads me into another room and sits me down on a chair. She unties my hair and I bask in her attention. I have a question that has been nagging at me since I had experienced the dream on the Star Destroyer. I say nothing because I don't want to pry and I don't want to do anything to spoil this moment. But it keeps nagging at me.

Leia says, “What do you want to ask me, Rey? It's alright.”

“Well... Master Luke has discussed Anakin Skywalker and the prophecy around him. He has spoken to me about what he knows of Darth Vader. I've never heard you speak about Darth Vader. Or why you never told your son about his grandfather.”

Leia stops brushing my hair. I bite my lips and wish that the words had never escaped. She sighs and meets my eyes in the mirror.

Leia explains, “That is an easy question, my dear. I have no memories of Ben's biological grandfather that I want to share. Bail Organa was the only father that I have known. At no point was Darth Vader anything but an enemy to me. My direct experiences of him while limited were not anything I wanted to share with my young child. Darth Vader tortured me when I was about your age and he made me watch the destruction of Alderaan. Luke was there at the end when he found redemption. I had hoped that when the time was right, Luke could tell Ben about his biological grandfather. I felt that Luke could better explain his redemption. We hoped that Luke would change the focus to his redemption rather than Anakin's fall. But it wasn't meant to be. We didn't get the chance.”

“I'm sorry Leia. Thank you for tell me.”

“I hope it helps clear things up. Now let me finish your hair and then we can go get some breakfast.”

I love my hair. Half of my hair is up in a bun on the back of my head while the rest is free and falls to my shoulders. I love my hair but I am shy about showing it off and having everyone make a big deal about it. Leia has to drag me into the dining area. They are all sitting around the table eating. Finn, Po, and Chewie all start giving whistles and hollers. I turn bright red. I appreciate and am horrified at the attention. Master Luke at least has some dignity and just smiles at me. 

I sit beside Finn and he says to me, “It looks good.”

“It's just hair... Thank you.” I smile at my friend.

After breakfast, Leia said her goodbyes. She had been remiss in her General duties and had to return so Chewie flew her back to the base. She allowed Po and Finn to stay for a few days more as long as they didn't interfere with my training. I am sitting with Master Luke in our meditation area. The crystal and the parts of my saberstaff are in front of me. I begin to meditate. In my mind, the parts in front of me begin to float and spin. They form the handle of my staff with the two ports on either end. The crystal floats up and fits into the staff. The last cover attaches. I am done and I reach out. The Saberstaff floats into my hand and I open my eyes. It is beautiful. I flip the switch and two vibrant blue beams shoot forth.

“Show me what you can do.” Master Luke says.

He lights his weapon and I give mine a spin getting a feel for it. I assume the first stance as Master Luke strikes. I block it and spin my weapon to drive the other blade down on him. He blocks and we go back and forth, spinning, dodging, and blocking. We do this until Master Luke gets the upper hand and knocks me down. My saberstaff shuts off as it flies from my hand. He deactivates his Lightsaber as he reaches down to help me up.

“Good! There is such a difference in your fighting skills with the staff. You did very well.”

“Thank you, Master.”

“You can spend the rest of your time with your friends if you would like.”

“Alright!”

I call my saberstaff to me and then run off to find Finn and Po. After showing them my weapon and showing off a bit, we decide to spend the rest of the day at the beach. It felt wonderful to be back in the water again. Later on, Po had suggested that we race back to the temple. I race up the last steps and revel in my unquestioning victory over Po and Finn. I look back and don’t see either of them. I could have sworn they were right behind me. I must be faster than I thought.

I turn towards the mediation area when I am struck with overwhelming pain. I almost fall over. I look down to see if I'm hurt and there is nothing. Kylo. There is something wrong. I run to my room and lock the door. I sit down and try to calm myself. It takes longer than usual to settle into a meditative state but I get there.

All I see is black and I begin to call out to Kylo. “Scavenger?” comes the confused answer. I follow it to a dark room. Kylo is there curled up and shaking. I rush to him.

“What is happening?” I ask desperately. I see a flash of Kylo Ren tied down and bleeding. Someone approaches him with an Electrostaff. We both scream as the pain hits us.

“Get out!” yells Kylo.

“What is happening?”

“Snoke is finishing my training. Get out of here!” Kylo screams.

“I don’t understand.” I cry back.

“He’s torturing me.”

I gasp at his answer and struggle to think of what to do. I can’t leave him. I pull him into my arms.

“Please, Rey. Leave. I can’t.” He cries.

I shush him. “It will be alright. Focus on me. Come with me.” I say and pull him into my mind and onto the island.

We sink down into the water and settle into the sand on the bottom. I continue to hold him and his pain seems to lessen. I stroke his face and hum to him trying to give him something else to focus on. I don’t know how long we are like that but I lean down and kiss him. His hand gathers up my hair and he deepens the kiss. Suddenly Kylo pulls away from me and looks afraid.

“Snoke is here. He knows.”

I can hear someone’s malice filled laughter. Kylo crumples in pain and then he is gone. I try to contact him again and get no response. Though I notice that something has changed in me. I can't identify it but I don't think it's a good thing.


	5. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A missing General, a plea for help, and a confession.

Over the next few days, when I get the chance, I look for Kylo. I cannot focus. I hit the ground for what feels like the hundredth time after failing to dodge Master Luke's attack. 

“Focus on the here and now, Rey! Again.” He shouts. 

It's not long before I'm eating dirt. 

“Enough. Rey, you are distracted.” He says, “I have things to do for Leia. Why don't you come with me? A change of scenery will do you good.” 

We pack up and take off in his small transport ship. Hours later, we arrive at the rebel base on an unnamed moon near Generis. 

“There is something wrong.” says Master Luke. 

He grabs the nearest droid and begins questioning him. I watch as everyone on the base scurries around preparing. “The First Order has Leia.” Master Luke yells to me and we begin running to the command center. When we arrive, we find out that Leia had been last seen on Thrad. They have lost contact with her and her squadron. There are reports of her being led onto a First Order ship. They are sending a reconnaissance party to Thrad. I beg to go with them but Master Luke refuses. 

"They are going to collect information," he says, "And your training isn’t done yet. You run the risk of being pulled to the Darkside. Go to Leia's quarters and calm yourself." 

That only serves to make me even angrier but I obey. I meditate for hours trying to find Kylo. He doesn’t show up. By the time I give up, I am exhausted and afraid. 

A voice in the back of my mind starts up. “You are going to lose them both. He’s going to kill her and there will be no turning back.” 

I can’t stand being still and doing nothing. And that voice keeps repeating. I pace in Leia's room which only makes me more distraught as I picture Kylo Ren killing his mother. I stop moving when something pulls at my mind. I force myself into a meditative state. I don’t see him anywhere but I can feel his presence.

“Where is she, Kylo?” I demand as I’m trying to hide how desperate I am. I’m distraught enough that it pours off of me. I might as well be screaming, “Please, don’t kill her. Please, I’ll do anything. Please, give her back.”

“Rakata Prime. General Organa is there.”

I sit up on my bed. I know where she is but not what I should do. How do I explain where my information comes from? I can’t go on my own because this has to be a trap. I'm ashamed. I hear a voice calling me a traitor. What if he had gleaned some kind of information from me? What if they were able to capture Leia because of my connection with Kylo Ren?   
I should have cut the connection after I felt it the first time. I know that I can’t now, at least not on my own and not without ripping my heart out. I had been alone for so long then I had someone there. Someone that could get to know me in ways that no one else could and who could share themselves with me. It felt like Kylo was the only one that could understand me. I'm weak and couldn’t give up that connection. Why did it have to be him?

I hear a voice in my head say, "You were a disappointment to your parents. Why wouldn’t you disappoint and let down every other parental figure that comes into your life."

Han. Leia. Luke. I’m so sorry.

 

I resolve to do what I should have done in the first place. I center myself as best I can but I can’t dispel the sorrow as I leave my room. I enter the command center and see Master Luke talking with one of the Majors. He stops and looks at me with concern. 

“She’s on Rakata Prime.” I shakily say. 

Master Luke nods and there is a flurry of activity as a plan comes together. I lean back against the wall and try to stay out of the way. I try not to think of anything and focus on my breathing. After the plans finalize, Master Luke puts his hand on my shoulder and says, “Rey, please follow me.”

“Yes, Master.”

We walk until we end up outside at the place that we had claimed for my continued training. The noise of the base has quieted to the occasional shout. He sits down on the bench and I sit rigidly beside him and look out into the darkness. I can’t look him in the eye.

“I’m sorry, Master.” I begin, “I should have told you when it started. I don’t know why but I have some kind of bond with Kylo Ren. It started with him visiting me in my dreams and then I was able to come to him when he slept. The bond has grown enough that we don’t even need to be sleeping anymore. He told me where to find Leia. But the last time we spoke, Snoke had discovered what had been going on between us. I don’t know what happened to him after that. I trust the information that he gave me but he was withholding himself from me so I can’t be sure. I’m sorry, Master. I have betrayed you and the Resistance.”

I curl in on myself and begin to breakdown. It takes a minute before I realize that his hand is on my back. He is trying to comfort me. 

He is repeating, “Shhhh, it will be okay, Rey.”

My tears subside and I look at him confused.

“Rey, I’m sorry that you are in pain but don’t hold on to it,” he says, “You did nothing wrong. I felt the connection between you and Kylo Ren. I knew that when you were ready that you would speak of it. The Force bonded the two of you together in a way that none of the Masters or myself have ever seen. You have the potential to pull him back to the Light. I was not to interfere because he might have pulled you to the Darkside. You have betrayed no one, Rey. You are my student and I couldn’t be prouder of you. Now, let’s go get my sister.”


	6. Balance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arrivals on Rataka Prime and what is with Skywalker men? A need for balance and moving forward. A capture.

We arrive on Rakata Prime and Master Luke directs me to an assembly hall that is filling with people.

“We may be able to find information there.” He says.

There seems to be a town meeting planned for tonight. The crowd is noisy and nervous. Master Luke and I are making our way through the crowd of people. We listen to the conversations and try to find what we need. I hear a menacing but familiar voice in my head say, “I will find you.” and I can feel Kylo’s presence. He is on his way. Fear flashes over what he has become alongside the hope that I'll get the chance to get through to him. Is Kylo alright? Will I still see the light in him? Will his eyes still be beautiful and dark or are they yellow with the Darkside’s corruption? Master Luke grabs my arm and says, “Calm yourself, Rey. It will make it easier for him to find you if you let your emotions lead him.” 

If this is a trap, then we have sprung it. I nod and follow Master Luke as we try to get to the door on the other side of the assembly room. But the crowd continues to swell in size impeding our exit. We are almost at the door when I sense him enter. There is a pressure radiating out from him and people start to scream. I can’t stop myself from looking back. I see Kylo Ren. A tall dark masked figure followed by the Knights of Ren. They head towards me as the people closest to him collapse from the energy he is putting out. He steps over them like they are nothing. The frightened crowd sweeps me out of the room and Luke calls to me as we are separated in the confusion, “Run, Rey!”. 

I let the crowd move me as fast as I can. He’s here for me. Because of me. I’ve led him to Master Luke. I have to get him away before someone dies. I angle myself towards a door in the corridor. I step in and calm myself. There is no exit but a window. I open it and return to the door. The crowd is still rushing past. I pour all my emotions out. Seeing Kylo lift the dream child of me and comforting her. Finding him hiding from the pain of Snoke’s torture. Seeing him kill Han Solo. Holding Kylo in the water. Wanting to know if kissing him in real life will be anything like it has been in our shared dreaming. I see his head snap towards me, drawn by my overwhelming and conflicted emotions. There is something different about him now but I don’t stay to find out. All I know is that he is darker, more controlled, and more dangerous. 

I have his attention so I run back into the room and dive out the window. I roll as I hit the ground and start to run. It isn’t long before I hear a loud explosion behind me and more frightened screaming. I don’t bother to look behind. I know that it’s Kylo and he’s following. I continue to let my emotions bleed out, calling to him as I try to lead him to the outskirts of the city. I’m running on my emotions. Master Luke would not approve. 

The sun had been setting when we had entered the assembly room. Now it is dark and raining as I leave the city and the lights fade away. The outskirts are rocky and hilly. I stop when I realize that I have been here before. In my Force vision.

I am distracted enough that I am surprised when I am hit from behind. I fall to the ground. One of the Knights of Ren stands over me. He is raising his weapon to strike me again. Then Kylo Ren’s jagged flame red lightsabre bursts through his chest. Impaling him. The Knight falls to the ground and Kylo Ren turns back and yells at the rest of his knights “I said she is not to be harmed. She is mine.”

I take the opportunity to get up and back away from them. But my actions regain his attention. I need to get him away from his Knights. I light my saberstaff and give it a spin. 

I say, “If I’m yours, Kylo, come get me.” 

As he takes another step forward, I see Master Luke step out. His lightsaber glows green and he engages the Knights. In my head, I hear him say, “If you can’t bring him back, kill him, Rey. Spare him more pain.”

Kylo Ren continues to stalk me and I plead with him, “You don’t need that mask. Take it off.” 

I say words that echo the last conversation that he had with his father, trying to unbalance him. He lunges forward with his lightsabre and I meet him with my saberstaff. When he still says nothing I continue, “Show me that you are more than a creature in a mask.”

But it doesn’t seem to phase him and we continue to fight. He is using his strength and size to drive me back but I am quicker now. I dodge his strikes that I do not parry. I sense that he is shielding himself from me. I need to break through or this isn’t going to work. 

I get frustrated and yell, “Kylo! Whatever Snoke has done to you, doesn’t matter. I know who you are. So either take off your mask and look at me or kill me!”

He finally stops his attack. “My master wants you brought to him.”

“Then you are going to have to take it off.”

I need to see him in person. I need to know. I shut off my saberstaff and calm myself. He stands, weighing his options until he shuts off his weapon. He raises his hands to his helmet and begins to remove it. This time I want to see the man and not the monster. I breathe in and forget to exhale while I watch his movements intently. Please. I see his eyes. My breath escapes in a rush and my eyes fill with tears. I smile in relief. His beautiful, uncorrupted eyes. There is hope.

From the corner of my eye, I see Master Luke finishing off the remaining Knight. He circles around towards us. He is watching Kylo Ren's every move and getting into position to attack. I hold my hand out to Kylo.

“Come with me.” I plead. 

He glares at me like he is trying to figure out where the trap is before answering, 

“The Darkside is part of me. It is too strong. It is who I am. You want me to go back to the Light. Why don’t you come to the Darkside?”

“No. I won’t go to the Darkside. And I don’t want to pull you to the Light.”

I watch Kylo Ren blink in confusion and I see Master Luke’s head snap towards me. I circle around so that I am standing where both of them can see me.

“The Darkside is part of you as much as the Light is. As much as they are part of me. To chose a side is to cut part of yourself away. There can be no balance as half a person. There can be no balance in the extremes. Hasn’t your shared family history taught either of you that? The Force moves us and is trying to create balance in the Universe. Anakin Skywalker was foretold to bring balance to the force. Who's to say he didn’t? The force can't maintain balance with the extremes but it tries. So a Skywalker comes out of nowhere and fixes it. More often than not with violence. If this continues, Skywalkers will always be on the opposite side of the Force from their parents. Each generation against the previous. Do either of you want that to be your family legacy? That the best you can hope for is that your children kill you. But any grandbabies that survive will love you. That is horrible. Choose something else, please.” 

I sigh and look at both of the Skywalker men before me. I continue, hoping that I’m getting through to them,

“So no, Kylo. I don’t want you to choose the Lightside anymore than I want you to choose the Darkside. I’m not asking you to go back. I’m asking you to move forward and choose yourself. Please, come with me.” 

My voice breaks as I finish. I hold out my hand to him again and wait for him to choose. There is a tense silence and I can feel the conflict in both of them. It is Master Luke that speaks first. He says, “Rey, he is clouding your mind. You are too young in the Force to understand. It is a mistake to trust him. You weren’t ready. I shouldn’t have brought you here.” 

He drives forward to attack Kylo, I light my Saberstaff and run forward. Master Luke uses the Force and throws me away from the fight. I hit the ground hard and it knocks the breath out of me. I struggle to draw oxygen back into my lungs. I try to give myself a moment to recover and, instead of focusing on my panic, I focus on the rain. It hits my face and I am soaked through. At least the rain is starting to let up a little. I can hear the buzz of Lightsabre striking Lightsabre. Red and blue lights reflecting off of the rocks around me. 

I sit up as the tightness in my chest subsides. I pick up my Saberstaff and get up. Master Luke and Kylo Ren are fighting hard. I’ve never seen Master Luke full out fight and it is impressive. But I am irritated and I start to circle them. What is with Skywalker men? This needs to stop and we have to rescue Leia. What would Leia do?

I see my chance and run into the fight. As my Saberstaff lights, I spin it above my head knocking both of their strikes away. Master Luke tries to use the Force to knock me away again but I am ready for him and only slide away a couple of feet. His irritation is obvious but he refocuses his attack on Kylo Ren who meets his strikes. I get in again and try to block as many of their strikes as I can. 

“This needs to stop!” I yell as they both strike their Lightsabers down and I catch them with my Saberstaff above my head. 

“Luke! You could see the good in Darth Vader even after all the horrible things he had done. Look at your nephew! Why can’t you see it now? Leia can see it! Why can’t you? You say he clouds my mind. What about yours? You talked about the importance for a Master to be open to learning from the student. Please listen! Do you want to kill your nephew? Han and Leia's son...”

Lights blind us and there is a ship above us. As it circles us and lands nearby, we all back away from each other. As my eyes adjust, I try to figure out whose ship it is. My stomach drops as I realize that it’s the First Order. I look at Kylo and see that he is as surprised as I am.

“I’m not leaving you, Kylo”, I say and wait for his answer.

Master Luke says, “And I’m not leaving you with him, Rey.”

I smile in relief that Master Luke still worries for me. Part of me was afraid that he would leave me. Kylo steps away and retrieves his helmet as the Stormtroopers exit the ship and surround us. Their guns are pointing at us but they seem to be waiting for orders. He dons the mask once again. Kylo Ren says, “Then you both need to drop your weapons and put your hands behind your head.”

“Kylo…?”

But the only answer that I hear is Master Luke shutting off his Lightsabre and the sound of it hitting the ground.

“Rey, it’s alright. Do as he says.” Master Luke commands.

I follow my Master’s lead and try to hide my feelings. I'm hurt and betrayed but I don’t want to cry in front of Kylo Ren. He doesn’t even look at us as the Stormtroopers cuff our hands and lead us to the ship. How could I have been so wrong? 

A voice in the back of my head says, "He lied to you. Strike him down when you get the chance."


	7. The Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rescue and a loss.

I’m sitting in the prison. And I’m dressed in all black. The clothes that they left me after taking away my wet ones are a little big on me but at least they are dry. I sit on the bench hugging my knees. What are they doing to Master Luke? My stomach drops. I should have snuck off and looked for Leia instead of telling Master Luke. He wouldn’t be here if I had done that. I try to stop myself from imagining how they are torturing and killing him. But I’m unable to stop and it keeps repeating on a horrible cycle. If I try to think of something else then Leia takes his place. I can feel the tension creeping through my body as my anxiety begins to run wild. I'm off balance here. The unfamiliar tug at the back of my mind remains. It is like my brain is in a fog and I can almost hear someone whispering but there is no one in the room with me. Where is Kylo? He is blocking himself from me again.

The door opens and Master Luke bursts in. I am so surprised that I stare. He looks incredibly proud of himself and then he says,

“I’m Luke Skywalker. I’m here to save you.”

“What…? I know who you are Master Luke. I haven’t been in here that long.”

“Nevermind. Let’s go find Leia and see if she thinks it’s funny.”

My face breaks into a big smile and I hop off of the bench. I almost fall back when the dark and masked figure of Kylo Ren steps into the room.

“We have to hurry. Help me drag these two in here before anyone sees us.” He says.

He steps back out and grabs an unconscious Stormtrooper by the arms and drags him into my cell. 

“Master Luke, what is going on?” I am more surprised by this than by Master Luke’s entrance.

“He freed me and has a plan to rescue Leia. He could have brought us to Snoke but he’s helping. I still don’t trust him but we will deal with that later or if it becomes an issue.” Luke gives Kylo a sidelong glance before continuing, “But none of that matters because I trust you. I trust that your bond helps you understand him better than I can right now. So we are working together, for now.”

Kylo Ren and I are alone as Master Luke steps out to go get the second Stormtrooper. I stare at Kylo Ren and am happier than I can ever remember being. A warm calmness washes my tension away and the brain fog disappears.

“I won’t leave you either, scavenger.” 

My eyes widen and I stop breathing. My brain has completely stopped working. I step forward and do what I’ve been wanting to do in person. I touch him. Real him and not dream him. I reach my hand up and brush back a lock of his hair. He catches my hand and gives a kiss across my knuckles.

“I have to tell you. I was a lot worried for a bit there. What changed your mind?” I ask.

“I’m so sorry, Rey. It hit me that this would be the perfect way to get us close enough to rescue Leia. I don’t know what it is. But being around you makes things so much clearer. I can’t remember ever being so clear as when I’m with you. I know that this doesn’t make up for everything that I’ve done. But I can’t keep living like this. I want the chance to move forward. With you.”

“Ahem”, comes from the door and I am embarrassed to find that Master Luke has returned. I jump back a little but Kylo holds my hand a little longer before giving it a squeeze and releasing me. Master Luke finishes dragging the Stormtrooper in before saying,

“We have a Princess to rescue.”

 

Master Luke and I walk in front of Kylo with our hands bound by cuffs that aren't latched. General Organa wasn't in her detention cell so we feared that Snoke has her. As we walk down the sterile hallways, a few stormtroopers stop and stare at Master Luke. But they continuing on after catching sight of Kylo. Everyone gives him a wide berth except for a red haired General that Kylo refers to as General Hux. Hux starts walking with Kylo. 

“Ren, Leader Snoke wants to see you and the prisoners.” General Hux says. 

“Yes, I'm bringing them to him now.” Kylo Ren replies. 

“This will be quite the reunion. All the Skywalker's together again. And of course, the last prisoner that you let escape.” General Hux sneers. 

“You forget, Hux, it was your Stormtrooper that let her escape. Let's hope this latest victory will grant you forgiveness for your incompetent Stormtroopers.” 

We all walk together in a tense silence. It is only broken when Kylo barks an order for which way we are to turn. We turn towards a large blaster door. As it opens, we see a long dark room with Leia inside along with a group of Stormtroopers. As we step into the room, the pressure in my head increases and I try to shake it off. I follow Master Luke and we stand with Leia. 

“Leia, it's nice to see you in good health.” Master Luke says.

“Well, you didn't need to get yourself and Rey captured to check on my health.” She quips back to him but her eyes haven't left Kylo since he entered the room.

A voice at the end of the hall commands, “Remove the girl's shackles and bring her to me.” 

Before anyone else can move, Kylo steps forward and pretends to unlock them. The voice across the hall seems to echo all the way through every layer of my consciousness. I am having trouble thinking. I hear Master Luke ask me if I'm ok but his voice seems to be nothing but an echo. Kylo marches me toward Snoke. When we stop, Snoke stands up to his full seven feet height. He towers over Kylo. 

“Rey, I am pleased to finally meet you. I'm impressed how you defeated my best knight. For one so young and untrained, you show great potential. You will never reach your full potential until you come over to the Darkside. Give her back her weapon Kylo Ren.” Snoke commands. 

Kylo hands me my saberstaff. I find that the closer I am to Kylo the easier it is to think. I shift my weight to get closer to him. 

Snoke continues, “I am going to give you the chance to finish what you started. Strike down Kylo Ren and join me.” 

Snoke's voice reverberates through me and I'm surprised when I consider his offer. The voice in my head returns and demands that I kill Kylo. It repeats over and over. 

“No!” I yell and give my head another shake. The remaining Knights of Ren step out of the shadows and stand in front of Snoke. Snoke regains his seat before continuing, 

“Kylo Ren, destroy her. Regain your honor and your place at my side.” 

As Kylo Ren yells, “No!”, he throws the lightsaber to Master Luke. 

The Stormtroopers move to attack Master Luke and General Organa. Master Luke uses the Force and takes a Stormtrooper's gun. He hands it to Leia after he breaks her handcuffs. The Knights of Ren follow us as we try to return to Leia and Luke. The Stormtroopers shoot at us but we block their fire. When we get closer, we cut down or Force away as many Stormtroopers as we can. Master Luke, Kylo Ren, and I surround General Organa to give her cover. The Stormtroopers are blocking our exit and the Knights of Ren block our access to Snoke. 

Snoke bellows out over the noise, “I want the girl alive! Kill the rest!” 

I ignore the voice in my head saying “Kill them all”. We start to deplete the number of Stormtroopers as we deflect their fire back at them. The Knights of Ren move in and engage us. 

“I'll protect Leia! You two take care of those Knights.” Master Luke commands. 

Two of the Knights attack me and I counter them with my saberstaff. My weapon becomes an extension of me and I increase the speed of my movements. I cut down the Knights attacking me and look for my next opponent. A voice in my head keeps repeating, “You will fail them all. They will all die. You not strong enough.” 

The Stormtroopers are backing off as destroyer droids take their place. Master Luke is in trouble. His complete focus is on the droids and a Knight of Ren is making his move to attack Leia. I don't get there before he shoots her. I see her fall clutching her shoulder. I scream and run between her and the Knight. I can feel myself losing control as my anger takes over.  
It pours out of me and my power grows. It’s intoxicating. The brain fog is back and I know that I am no longer in control of myself. It is like looking over the edge of a precipice and feeling the terror but jumping anyway. It doesn’t even cross my mind to pull back. I flip over my opponent and jab backward to end the fight. I turn around in time to see Leia falling to the floor behind me. Panic and confusion hit me all at once. No! It was one of the Knights. I was fighting one of the Knights of Ren. 

But the evidence is right in front of me laying in a crumple of blue fabric. I’ve killed the closest thing to a mother that I have ever had. I look up to see Kylo and Master Luke looking at me. Gods, I’ve killed Kylo’s mother and Luke’s twin sister. Shame overtakes me and it hurts too much to have them looking at me. I am a monster. In my grief, I completely let go. Everything I have pours out and I hear Stormtroopers screaming as I crush them with their own armor. I even see Kylo Ren remove his mask and throw it away. Master Luke yells, “Stop, Rey!” 

I start to scream and a blast of Force energy pushes everything in front of me out the blaster doors. The doors slam shut and start to crumple from the energy that I am bleeding out. And then blessed oblivion takes me away from what I have done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you for reading. More will follow soon. I won't leave you hanging long.


	8. Kylo Ren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is told from the perspective of Kylo Ren.

I hear the screams and feel my face plate begin to crush. I hold her off as best I can to give myself time to remove my helmet. I throw away my once cherished mask now crushed by her despair. The Stormtroopers around me do not fair as well. Anyone within twenty feet of her, and wearing armor is being crushed like a tin can. Anyone not wearing armor and not protected by the Force is dropping like a sack of bricks. I see Hux fall and feel a sense of vindictive satisfaction watching that fanatic hit the ground. 

I don't know what is happening to her but Snoke is behind this. Skywalker calls out to his apprentice and his shouts drown out Snoke's vile laughter. With her answering scream, we are all flung out of the room. 

I slam against the back wall. I see Skywalker, General Organa, and several Stormtroopers hit the wall as well. As soon as I hit the ground, I run to the door. It is concaving out and making a high pitched creaking noise. It stops but the controls won't open it. I begin to use my lightsaber to cut through the door. Sparks are flying and I ignore them. I have to get to her. I cannot leave her here. Not with him. I hear Skywalker take out any surviving Stormtroopers behind me. 

“Kylo Ren, I can't feel her in there. There is a black space. Rey is not dead but what is happening?” 

“I don't know. Help me! Now!” I yell. 

“Leia's hurt.” 

I glance behind at Skywalker bending over the General. Her clenched eyes speak of how much pain she is in. She has turned her face away from Skywalker as he examines her wound. He pulls back her burnt clothes to get a better look. She doesn't make a sound. As stubborn as I can ever remember her being. 

“Get off of me. Help him. I'll be fine. We can't leave Rey behind.” Leia Organa says. 

Skywalker joins me and begins cutting opposite to me. I hear a blaster fire behind me. I turn to see General Organa holding a gun with a smoking Stormtrooper laying in front of her. 

“He twitched.” She shrugged. 

I turn back to the job at hand. What happened to Rey? She was fighting two of the Knights of Ren. Seeing her fight was awe inspiring. I stopped to watch and almost lost an arm. The change from her fight against me on the Starkiller Base to now was stunning. On the Starkiller Base, she had been clumsy and widely telegraphed her moves. It didn't take long until she picked up on what to do. The end of the fight had hinted at what she might become. Her graceful movements. Deadly speed. The surety in her as she wielded her weapon. She gained an elegance that turned her fight into a death-dealing dance. I wanted to test myself against her now. But this wasn't the time and there might be some misunderstandings if I gave into that whim. 

She took out two Knights and then went for a third. I took care of my opponents and joined Skywalker. I couldn't help but watch her. She flipped over the Knight and stabbed backward into him. That was when everything went wrong. She looked surprised that he was dead. She hadn't reacted like this with the other two. I reached out to her with the Force and felt Snoke. I won't leave her to him. We finally finish cutting through the door. I use the Force to push the detached metal away. 

“Bring the General! I'll get Rey.” I yell as I run into the room. 

There are bodies of Stormtroopers and Knights. I see that Hux is missing. He must have crawled back into some hole to hide. I look across the room and see Knights exiting a hidden door. I roar my anger and run at them. The two Knights at the door engage me. I catch a glance over them and see Rey bound and unconscious, over Captain Phasma's shoulder. They are taking her away from me. Another door closes. 

“NO!” 

Rage increases my power and I finish with the Knights blocking me. I run to the next door and it's locked. I begin slashing at it, losing control. Skywalker is at my side again and stops me. 

“This isn't the time for this. We can cut through. Patience.” Skywalker soothes. 

Rey is all I can think of. I need her. I need to get to her. He doesn't get to have her. Her warm smile and her almost childlike playfulness. Her feisty sarcasm. Her strength after being alone for so long but still having a gentle kindness about her. Her shyness when we finally had a second alone together. Snoke is going to cut that out of her. Cold fear douses my rage and I regain control. We cut through the door and I'm off running again. I get to Snoke's personal hanger in time to see his shuttle take off. Then I hear Snoke's voice in my head, 

“Kylo Ren. What a disappointment you are. I suppose not a complete disappointment. You did bring me a new and far superior apprentice. She will surpass you quickly. How far will I have to dig through her before she shatters? Before I get to rebuild her. Mold her to be whatever I want her to be. Will you feel what I do to her? Who will break first? You or her? I was too gentle on you. But you were a child. What a disappointment. I won't make the same mistakes with her. She survived isolation on Jakku for over a decade and a half. I can't wait to see what finally breaks her.” 

They jump into hyperspace and they are gone. I take my rage out on any of the poor fools that are still here. I don't know how many and I don't care. And when I'm done, I fall to the ground and scream at the bodies. 

“Kylo Ren, we need to get out of here. Leia's hurt and needs medical attention. We will find Rey. But we need to be alive to do that.” 

I look at Skywalker carrying his sister. I am lost. I have failed. 

“This way,” I say as I lead them through a series of doors to the hanger that houses my command carrier. I use the Force to throw away or choke anyone who gets in our way. We make it to the ship and I head to the cockpit while Skywalker takes the General to the small medical area. 

I guide the ship out of the hanger and into open space. I dodge any weapon fire and start the process to go into hyperdrive. I don't know where to go so I search out along our Force bond and sense nothing. It doesn't matter where we go. I can't follow her. We jump into hyperspace to get out of there and not to head anywhere in particular. 

Skywalker joins me when we stop. He sets the coordinates to the Rebel base. We sit in silence while he searches my mind. I let him. I'm exhausted and I need to do whatever I can to find her again. I'm going to need help. I am intimately aware of what Snoke is going to do to Rey. 

“Kylo Ren. I have known you since you were born. I know your Force energy as well as I know my own. It is different somehow. There is something missing. It's Snoke, isn't it?” 

I look at him. “Snoke,” I begin, “he's always been there. In my head.” 

“Since you were born?” He asks. 

“I've never known a time when he hasn't been there.” 

“I'm so sorry. I thought it was part of you. We failed you.” 

“And I failed her.” 

“We will get her back.” 

“We need to hurry if we want it to be Rey that we rescue.” 

“Leia needs medical attention so we have to go back to the Rebels. I could drop you off somewhere and give you a head start if you would like.” Luke says with a smirk. 

I'm surprised by the offer but decline it. 

“They will imprison you and hold you for trial,” Luke says. 

“If I'm going to rescue Rey, I'm going to need help. Either the Rebels will kill me or they will let me go. I have information that they need and I will bargain with it to help free her as quick as possible. As long as they decide quickly what is happening, then I'll cooperate. You have no idea what he is going to do to her. We need to get to her.” 

"I think quick and the trial doesn't commonly go together." Luke says, "But I will do what I can."

When we land, I hold out my hands for Skywalker to cuff me. He shakes his head. 

“We need them to see that you are here of your own free will.” 

I stay in the cockpit while the medical team removes General Organa. Skywalker returns and gives me a nod. I stand up and hold out my lightsaber to him. My mind flashes to the last time that I stood like this. I put my arm down and look at my Uncle. Terrified that I will repeat history. I was so wrong. I wish my father was standing in front of me now. I wish for that with every cell in my body. But there will be no second chance. Han Solo is long dead. I try to push everything back down but I have nowhere left to shove it down to. I've reached my limit. Shame hits me as my eyes fill with tears. I set my lightsaber down on the chair beside Skywalker and turn away from him. I am weak. 

“Take a moment if you need to. We can wait.” 

Skywalker puts a tentative hand on my shoulder. I find it surprisingly comforting. The last person to try to comfort me was Rey. My father before that. I wipe the tears away and calm myself. I turn back to Skywalker. He nods to me and I follow him out. 

It feels like everyone that has a gun, has it pointed at me. I stare straight ahead and school my expression into a mask. Security arrives and, as they handcuff me, I don't fight. Skywalker asks, “Is that necessary?” 

“Yes, Skywalker, sir. It is for everyone's protection.” 

“He is here of his own free will and is cooperating. And do you think that those can hold him if he doesn't consent.” 

The guard with the handcuffs looks at me with fear in his eyes. He freezes. Unsure of how to proceed. 

“It's alright, Uncle. The sooner we get through this the sooner we get Rey.” 

The guard stares at me. I start to feel uncomfortable and snap at him, “Do your job”. The man jumps and finishes cuffing me. Skywalker looks at me shocked as I hold my hands out to the guard. I don't understand what is happening with him so I read his mind. 

“You called me, Uncle”, he says to me. 

“I'm sorry. It kind of just happened.” I reply. 

“No, it's ok. You surprised me is all... Nephew.” 

I nod and follow the guards. I recognize FN-2187 who runs out of the crowd and tries to get to me. The guards stop him and he starts yelling at me. 

“Where is she! What did you do to her!” 

As the remaining guards push me out of the crowd as quick as they can, I yell back over my shoulder, “Snoke has her! Convince them to save her.” 

He stops trying to get to me and I feel his terror. His terror is right where it should be. Terror at the thought of Snoke and terror for Rey. I am led through the base and into a holding cell. The guards search me and then lock the door behind them. I sit down on the cot and search for Rey. 

“Scavenger, where are you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Any feedback would be very much appreciated.


	9. He says my name is Nereza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Told from Rey/Nereza's point of view. We find out what happened to Rey.

He says my name is Nereza. 

I tell him to go frell himself. 

I am sitting in my cold, dark, room. And I know two things. One, I won't be alone today. Two, this is going to hurt. Not, I broke my arm kind of hurt. Not, I burned my hand kind of hurt. Not, they ripped off my fingernails kind of hurt. But the pain where you beg them to stop but at the same time, you know they won't. You beg because it is the only thing you can do. Pain that takes away what makes you human, kind of pain. Blowing snot bubbles, crying, drooling, and your bladder voids, kind of pain. Screaming a scream that you refuse to recognize as your own and that haunts you when you are alone in the dark. Pain that takes on a whole new meaning and has become something else. Calling it Pain is like calling the ocean a mud puddle. 

The door opens, blinding me. Hands grab me. I'm so cold that their hands burn. I don't know exactly what is going to happen. But this is part of some routine. It happens over and over. First, I'm left alone with nothing. No contact. No sound. I don't know how long this isolation goes on for because there is nothing to give a sense of time. I want to laugh at them. This is nothing. I get a meal every day and that's more than I once had. I'm bored. What I miss the most is sleep. I sit in the cold and dark without sleeping. If I fall asleep, lights blaze on along with a siren that blares for a count of four hundred. 

He says my name is Nereza. 

I tell Him to go frell Himself. 

And they come and get me. I'm starting to feel at ease in the cold. The girl with me hates it and talks of a desert. I don't mind the cold now. It means they aren't going to hurt us anymore. After they used a modified blaster to burn me, the cold room was a comfort. The girl hates the electrostaff. It reminds her of the man she is waiting for. He survived this. He's coming for us. I laugh at her. She is weak and pathetic. 

I hate the interrogation droid. Whatever it injects me with makes it hard for me to keep control of my mind. It makes it harder to hold any part of me away from the thing pretending to be pain but is something else entirely. It is the desolation of anything soft and weak. It is the hammer on heated steel. He wields the hammer. He is always there in the background. He is in my head and knows where to strike me. He knows where to strike to hammer out the weaknesses. He wields the hammer and it strengthens me into a sword. 

He says my name is Nereza. 

I tell Him my name is Nereza. 

And they come and get me. They drag me from my room. When my eyes adjust to the light I see that these men are different than the ones who always get me. These aren't the masked men dressed all in black. I can see these men's faces and they wear white.

“My name is Nereza! My name is Nereza!” I scream hysterically at them and they say nothing. They drag me into an empty room and shackle my hands to the ceiling. They begin to cut my clothes away from me and I kick at my attackers. One of them shocks me with an electrostaff. By the time I can move again, my clothes are off and they are hosing me down with ice cold water. I look down at myself and I am a mass of partially healed burns, cuts, bruises, and dried blood and other bodily fluids. 

I can hear myself laughing. There is a part of me that is shocked at how unhinged I sound. “Is that the best you can do! My room is colder than this.” I scream at them and continue the manic laughing. The water stops and one of them unshackles me. I watch his movements. When I get the chance, I punch him in the face. He stumbles back and I lunge at him. I wrap my hands around his neck and squeeze. He struggles and starts to turn purple. I want to see his eyes bug out. He flails wildly beneath me. He grabs at my hands trying to free himself. 

I am hit with the electrostaff and three of them start kicking me. Something flares in me again. I haven't felt it in I don't know how long. It's the Force. My rage fuels me. I stop thinking and let it take over. I force push three of them against the ceiling and slam them back to the floor. I do it so many times that they start leaving pieces of themselves behind. The fourth one, that I had been choking is banging on the door trying to get out. I toe the coarse brown shift that had been my clothing and I decide not to put it back on. I hear that familiar voice in my head again. 

“Finish him.” 

I pick up the electrostaff and saunter over to the last remaining man. I electrocute him and he stops yelling. He falls to the ground and he starts screaming again. I electrocute him until his heart stops. 

He says my name is Nereza. 

I tell Him my name is Nereza. 

He tells me to enter the door on the left. I enter the door and step into a medical bay. I see a bed and a bacta tank. A droid approaches and in a soothing voice offers me food. I am confused and am waiting for an attack. But the food is warm and is solid food instead of the gruel that I have been eating. I wolf it down as quick as I can and suspiciously eye the droid. Waiting for the pain to start. When I am done, the droid asks me if I would like to use the Bacta tank. I nod my head. 

She begins to scan me and listing off my injuries. Two fractures, previously dislocated shoulder, multiple contusions and lacerations, injuries to organs and nerves, second-degree burns... She drones on and I begin to ignore her. She asks me if I would like a sedative. The lure of sleep calls to me. Have I ever slept? I say yes and she gives me an injection. I slip into the bacta tank and sleep takes me. 

He tells me my name is Nereza. 

I call Him, Master.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter because the rest is told from Kylo's perspective. That will follow soon. Just have to finish the edit.


	10. Kiss from a prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Told from Kylo Ren's perspective. Nereza goes to Kylo Ren and offers to give him Rey.

Over that last few months, I have had little contact with Rey through the Force Bond. Snoke has been blocking us except when it suits him. In the first weeks, Rey would come to me. I could barely perceive her. I would feel her lips brush against mine and then she would be gone. The next couple of times had been during my trial. Both times she was being tortured and I had gone to her. Both times, when they stopped her heart, it stopped my heart as well. I would wake up in the medical bay with Skywalker, Leia, and a droid standing over me. That was the end of the trial for now. It was too visible of a reminder of what was at stake. And having me fall over dead while they are trying to convict me was distracting. 

I'm released into my Uncle's care on the base. They still won't let me go. I help by giving them possible locations of where Snoke has taken Rey. Skywalker keeps me company. Occasionally, Leia sits with me and fills me in on what is happening. We keep things surface level. I don't think either of us wants to go further at this point. I'm still kept in a cell at night. At least I know that if I drop dead someone is watching. 

Tonight Rey is here. She is standing in a dark corner in my room watching me. She looks different. 

I sit up call out to her, “Rey?” 

“Don't say that name,” She sneers at me, “My name is Nereza.” 

My heart drops. I know what Snoke has done. I have the same reaction when anyone tries to call me Ben Solo. I steal myself against her. This is not Rey. Nereza steps towards me and looks around. She is paler than Rey and is all in black. Her lips have a blue tinge to them. Her eyes have a hollow look and are red-rimmed. 

“The girl spoke of a prince who was going ride to her rescue.” Nereza laughs, “I think she was mistaken. It looks like your the one in need of saving. Nice prison cell.” 

She swings a leg up and straddles my hips before continuing, “Should I ride to your rescue?” 

My breath hitches. Nereza calls to my Darkside as much as Rey calls to my Light. She runs her hands through my hair until she gets to the back. She grabs my hair and yanks me forward for a closer look. Nereza looks disappointed but smirks and yanks my head to the side. She uses her tongue to trace my scar from my shoulder to my eye. 

“Why are you here, Nereza?” I ask trying to ignore what she is doing and the urge to grab hold of her. 

“To give you a chance to save the girl. But it looks like you were unable to save yourself. I see a beautiful darkness in you.” She says before licking my bottom lip and scraping her nails across my chest. She sucks my lip between her teeth and bites down hard and pulls back before letting me go. “It is contaminated by the light. You are useless.” Nereza says.

“What do you mean by “a chance to save the girl”? I ask. 

“She is refusing to die. And it would please my master if she was gone. The quickest way to do that would be to give her to you. But you look awfully busy in that head of yours.” 

“How can that be done?”

“This Force bond makes it possible. Right now, we are both in your head. The only difference is that she stays with you and I waltz out a free woman.” 

I try to process the implications of this. Will this leave Nereza irredeemable? Will this trap Rey in my head without hope of regaining her body? How will we turn Nereza if she is completely void of the light? 

She pushes me down on the bed and pulls my arms above my head. She stretches out and rubs against me almost like a cat trying to get comfortable. 

“Has Rey agreed to this?” I ask. 

“What does it matter? Snoke will torture us both until she dies. I'm done with this and you want her to live as much as she does. This is a win for everyone. Unless you want something else now? Why don't you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours?” 

“What do you mean?” 

She continues to rub against me and I start having trouble thinking straight. 

“I'll free you, Kylo Ren, of that pesky light. And you free me of mine.” 

“I've had that offer before,” I sneer at her and grab hold of her hips to stop her movements. 

“Not by me. We share a Force Bond so I can deliver on my promise. Why don't you come back to the dark?” 

“Tempting, but I'll pass,” I say. 

Stars, I have never been tempted to the Darkside as much as she tempts me. I never took the phrase “seduced to the Darkside” as literal as I do now. But I can't leave Rey to Snoke or let her be destroyed. If this is a way to preserve even part of her from Snoke, then I'll take it. 

She looks at me before saying, “Are you at least going to give me what I need before I go?” 

“Give Rey to me.” 

“Mmmm, good boy.” She smiles. 

“How do you give me Rey?” 

“You kiss me like you mean it. Isn't that how the prince rescues some useless creature waiting for him?” 

I frown at her and try to figure out what her game is. She huffs and starts to get up to leave. Nereza says, “Well if you aren't interested in saving the girl...” 

I quickly sit up and stop her. I slide my hand to the nape of her neck and pull her to me. I watch as she licks her lips. Our breath mingles before our lips meet. Her lips are cold as I trace them with my tongue before entering her mouth. I stroke her hot tongue with mine. I pull away from her and she smirks at me. 

“Not good enough, Kylo Ren. She's as good as dead.” 

I grab her ass with both of my hands and stand up. I slam her against the wall and pin her there with my hips. I crush her lips with my mouth and aggressively thrust my tongue against hers. Heat spread through my body as she rocks against me. Her nails dig into my back urging me on. I relish feeling her softness in my hands as I explore her body. I give an answering growl to the moan that's coming from her. I end the kiss and let her body slide down mine until her feet touch the ground. I step away from her. 

“Was that good enough?” 

She laughs at me before says, “That's not how you get her. But I had to know you were serious.” 

I grab Nereza's arm and say, “Enough games, Nereza.” 

“Alright. But you can't tell me that you didn't enjoy that. Anyway, we have to convince your subconscious to make room for her and not push her away.” 

“How do we do that?” 

“This is a dream. Your subconscious is listening so we have to speak in its language.” 

Nereza steps away from me and cups her hands together. As she extends her arms towards me a light begins to glow in her hands. She opens her hands up and she is holding a ball of light. She holds the light in her hands like it is rotting fruit. I scoop it up carefully and place it against my heart. It dissolves and a new warmth flow through me. I look at Nereza and am surprised to see that she looks lost and colder. 

“It wasn't what I expected.” She intones. 

“Cutting part of yourself away never is.” 

“We are done here, Ren.” She says before she disappears. 

I wake up in my cell. I search for Rey and can sense her like she is in the room with me. At least Nereza was being honest about giving Rey to me. But I can't hear or see Rey. I settle back down into my bed. I try to process what happened and the implications of having Rey in my head. I try not to think about Nereza. By morning, I am left wondering how I'm going to explain this to my Uncle.


End file.
